so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
