Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
