Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
