Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
