genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
