If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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