Will you blow on my dice?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Do vagina's smell?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
