I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
