Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
