i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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