no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize
