you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
