I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
