I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize