I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
