We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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