Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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