the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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