It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
