Ambien. No doubt about it.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
