Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
