I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
