Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
