I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Green mimosas i think yes
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
