ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
3pm strippers are depressing
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
