you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
