he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
