oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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