Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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