I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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