ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
