So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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