I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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