I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
