I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm sobbing to NWA
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
