oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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