Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
