Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
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