We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Randomize
