We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm sobbing to NWA
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
