You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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