just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I love having hate sex.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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