you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
What drink are we having for lunch?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
