thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
