That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
i think my cat just said my name.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
