bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize