There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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