so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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