I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize