Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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