I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
