I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We left the knife in your bed.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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