Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
