also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
