wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
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