I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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