marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
